She thought Lady Bertram sat longer than ever,...
She thought Lady Bertram sat longer than ever, and began to be
in despair of ever getting away; but at last they were in the drawingroom,
and she was able to think as she would, while her aunts finished
the subject of William’s appointment in their own styleNorris seemed as much delighted with the saving it would
be to Sir Thomas as with any part of it“Now William would be
able to keep himself, which would make a vast difference to his
uncle, for it was unknown how much he had cost his uncle; and,
indeed, it would make some difference in her presents tooShe was
very glad that she had given William what she did at parting, very
glad, indeed, that it had been in her power, without material incon266
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venience, just at that time to give him something rather considerable;
that is, forher, with her limited means, for now it would all be
useful in helping to fit up his cabinShe knew he must be at some
expense, that he would have many things to buy, though to be sure
his father and mother would be able to put him in the way of getting
everything very cheap; but she was very glad she had contributed
her mite towards it
“I am glad you gave him something considerable,” said Lady
Bertram, with most unsuspicious calmness, “for I gave him only
£10
“Indeed!” cried Mrs“Upon my word, he must
have gone off with his pockets 1 well lined, and at no expense for
his journey to London either!”
“Sir Thomas told me £10 saddle christian dior would be enoughNorris, being not at all inclined to question its sufficiency,
began to take the matter in another point
“It is amazing,” said she, “how much young people cost their
friends, what with bringing them up and putting them out in the
world! They little think how much it comes to, or what their parents,
or their uncles and aunts, pay for them in the course of the
yearNow, here are my sister Price’s children; take them all together,
I dare say nobody would believe what a sum they cost Sir Thomas
every year, to say nothing of what I do for them
“Very true, sister, as you sayBut, poor things! they cannot help it;
and you know it makes very little difference to Sir ThomasFanny,
William must not forget my shawl if he goes to the East Indies; and
I shall give him a commission for anything else that is worth having
I wish he may go to the East Indies, that I may have my shawl
I think I will have two shawls, Fanny
Fanny, meanwhile, speaking only when she could not help it, was
very earnestly trying to understand what Mrand Miss Crawford
were atThere was everything in the world against their being serious
but his words and mannerEverything natural, probable, reasonable,
was against it; all their habits and ways of thinking, and all
her own demeritsHow could she have excited serious attachment
in a man who had seen so many, and been admired by so many, and
flirted with so many, infinitely her superiors; who seemed so 925 tiffany's necklace little
267
Jane Austen
open to serious impressions, even where pains had been taken to
please him; who thought so slightly, so carelessly, so unfeelingly on
all such points; who was everything to everybody, and seemed to
find no one essential to him? And farther, how could it be supposed
that his sister, with all her high and worldly notions of matrimony,
would be forwarding anything of a serious nature in such a quarter?
Nothing could be more unnatural in eitherFanny was ashamed of
her own doubtsEverything might be possible rather than serious
attachment, or serious approbation of it toward herShe had quite
convinced herself of this before Sir Thomas and MrCrawford joined
themThe difficulty was in maintaining the conviction quite so
absolutely after MrCrawford was in the room; for once or twice a
look seemed forced on her which she did not know how to class
among the common meaning; in any other man, at least, she would
have said that it meant something very earnest, very pointedBut
she still tried to believe it no more than what he might often have
expressed towards her cousins and fifty other women
She thought he was wishing to speak to her unheard by the rest
She fancied he was trying for it the whole evening at intervals, whenever
Sir Thomas was out of the room, or at all engaged with Mrs
Norris, and she carefully refused him every opportunity
At last—it seemed an at last to Fanny’s nervousness, though omega constellation not
remarkably late—he began to talk of going away; but the comfort
of the sound was impaired by his turning to her the next moment,
and saying, “Have you nothing to send to Mary? No answer to her
note? She will be disappointed if she receives nothing from you
Pray write to her, if it be only a line
“Oh yes! certainly,” cried Fanny, rising in haste, the haste of embarrassment
and of wanting to get away—”I will write directly
She went accordingly to the table, where she was in the habit of
writing for her aunt, and prepared her materials without knowing
what in the world to sayShe had read Miss Crawford’s note only
once, and how to reply to anything so imperfectly understood was
most distressingQuite unpractised in such sort of note-writing,
had there been time for scruples and fears as to style she would have
felt them in abundance: but something must be instantly written;
and with only one decided feeling, that of wishing not to appear to
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think anything really intended, she wrote thus, in great trembling
both of spirits and hand—
“I am very much obliged to you, my dear Miss Crawford, for
your kind congratulations, as far as they relate to my dearest William
The rest of your note I know means nothing; but I am so
unequal to anything of the sort, that I hope you will excuse my
begging you to take no farther noticeI have seen too much of Mr
Crawford not to understand his manners; if he understood me as
well, he omega constellation price would, I dare say, behave differentlyI do not know what I
write, but it would be a great favour of you never to mention the
subject againWith thanks for the honour of your note, I remain,
dear Miss Crawford, etc
The conclusion was scarcely intelligible from increasing fright,
for she found that MrCrawford, under pretence of receiving the
note, was coming towards her
“You cannot think I mean to hurry you,” said he, in an undervoice,
perceiving the amazing trepidation with which she made up the
note, “you cannot think I have any such objectDo not hurry yourself,
I entreat
“Oh! I thank you; I have quite done, just done; it will be ready in
a moment; I am very much obliged to you; if you will be so good as
to give that to Miss Crawford
The note was held out, and must be taken; and as she instantly
and with averted eyes walked towards the fireplace, where sat the
others, he had nothing to do but to go in good earnest
Fanny thought she had never known a day of greater agitation,
both of pain and pleasure; but happily the pleasure was not of a sort
to die with the day; for every day would restore the knowledge of
William’s advancement, whereas the pain, she hoped, would return
no moreShe had no doubt that her note must appear excessively
ill-written, that the language would disgrace a child, for her distress
had allowed no arrangement; but at least it would assure them both
of her being neither imposed on nor gratified by see by chloe bag M